Beyond fashion: lessons in intentional living from Milan

I recently got back from 2 weeks in Milan. And what a fabulous time it was.

Italy – of course – needs no introduction. I’m yet to meet a person who doesn’t adore the country of la dolce vita. The food, the wine, the history, the art, the architecture… Italy never fails to deliver.

And while Milan ticked all of those boxes… observing the essence of the city also led me to draw a deeper parallel to life itself, which I want to share with you in this post.

The familiarity of a second visit

This was my second time in this very classy city in the north. My first visit was a year and a half ago. 

I had a lovely time there first time around, so when the opportunity to return arose, I did not hesitate (PS. In this blog post, I share how I travel the world for FREE – and you can too – opens in a new tab).

As much as I love the thrill of discovering a new place, there is something comforting about returning to somewhere you have been to before. 

By the time of a second visit, I’ve usually already ticked off the main tourist attractions, allowing me to go deeper ‘under the skin’ of a place, and really feel into its heart and soul.

Which is exactly what happened during my recent visit.

Exploring Milan’s sights and neighborhoods

Now, I have to admit – my first visit was slightly impacted by other people’s prejudices. The likes of: ‘Milan is a hub for business and fashion, but hasn’t much else going for it’, ‘The city is a bit superficial with all of its obsession with fashion and design’, ‘Milan lacks soul’, and so on.

I only had 10 days last time and for a big part of it, I was busy with a client project, so I just managed to have a surface level experience of the city. I did of course tick off all the major sights like:

Duomo di Milano – the famous and very impressive cathedral at the heart of the city
Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II – super elegant 19th-century shopping arcade next to the Duomo
Piazza Mercanti – offering medieval atmosphere near the Duomo
Castello Sforzesco – a historic castle with courtyards and museums
Parco Sempione – a beautiful park behind Castello Sforzesco featuring Arco della Pace, a triumphal arch reminiscent of the one in Paris
Brera district – artistic, charming streets filled with galleries, boutiques, and restaurants
Navigli – a lively canal-side area, filled with aperitivo spots

As well as window shopping at the countless high-end fashion designer boutiques, all glamorously parading in the heart of the city.

And after that first visit, I was indeed left with a quiet impression that Milan was less impressive than many other of its Italian (and European) counterparts, and was mostly just about fashion.

This time though, I took more time to explore neighborhoods I missed last time – away from the most touristy areas. 

And as a result, I discovered Porta Venezia – a residential area with grand townhouses, beautiful Art Nouveau architecture and a wide selection of cafes, restaurants and bars. This part of the city actually turned out to be my new favorite! Because, if you know me, elegant and sophisticated architecture speaks deeply to the aesthete in me.

The home of a refined sense of style

But it wasn’t just the architecture that activated my inner aesthete in Milan.

Even more so, it was the Milanese themselves, or more specifically – their sense of style.

Having travelled all over the world, the Milanese are probably the most stylish and classy bunch I’ve ever met. 

Strolling the streets of this fashion hotspot, every other person’s outfit felt like a feast for the eyes.

Truly. The uniqueness, the elegance, the sophistication.

Designer bags, yes. But so much more than that.

As someone who isn’t into fashion per se but appreciates visual harmony above all else, the tasteful, refined elegance of the Milanese offered me pleasure on a visceral level.

Let’s unpack.

Blending in… or standing out

But first – I’m sure you’d agree that being into fashion is by no means synonymous with good taste and class. 

While plenty of people have the means to buy designer brands, many have practically no sense of style. Some walk around like billboards – a mishmash of brand logos – but have no idea how to pull together an outfit in a way that complements their figure/body shape, accentuates their best features, and shows thoughtfulness, cohesiveness and attention to detail.

And of course, I understand that this is not something that is important to the majority of people, and might even be considered ‘superficial’ by some. And that’s okay, they are by no means ‘less than’ because of that.

But I’m not like the majority of people 😉

Due to my highly developed sense of beauty, balance and aesthetics (blaming my Libra Sun!), I personally deeply appreciate the INTENTIONALITY in the way people present themselves.

And observing the Milanese in their natural habitat, I noticed a very clear pattern: their style was toned down, elegant, individual, at times bold but never flashy, and always thoughtfully curated.

Compared to the places where I have lived for longer periods of time – like Oslo, Norway, and Sydney, Australia – where most people are by default trying to look more like each other, the Milanese approach was incredibly refreshing, with everyone confidently owning and showcasing their uniqueness.

And this, in my personal opinion, is what makes fashion an artform. By giving people the permission and opportunity to express themselves in a way that is unique to them, rather than trying to make them blend in.

And the Milanese do this better than most.

Intentionality in all aspects of life

Which leads me onto the parallel between the Milanese and life that I mentioned in the beginning of the blog post.

As I was sitting with an Aperol Spritz in Brera one night, during Milan Fashion Week (unknowingly at the time!), and watching the incredibly stylish Milanese walking past in their head-turning outfits on their way to Armani fashion show nearby, it dawned on me:

Most people go through life trying to blend in. Trying to follow what everyone else is doing and following the ‘script’ that has been laid out for them by society, media, educational institutions and their parents. 

Accepting average or subpar relationships, lifestyles and professional paths. Without realising that they actually have a CHOICE, and can actively choose the path they want to walk in this lifetime.

If more people followed the Milanese approach and applied more INTENTIONALITY in their life choices, I have absolutely no doubt that many would feel happier, more fulfilled, at ease and joyful about their human existence.

If I can… so can you 

And look, I get how it might seem impossible to break out from the mould, when that’s what has been modeled to you your entire life.

But if I was able to do it at the age of 40, quitting my 9 to 5, starting an online business, going travelling full-time, and 4 years later be living my most relaxed, spacious and soul-led life, then you can too.

You just need to have a deep inner knowing that you want (and deserve!) more out of life, some courage, and perhaps a helping hand – which is exactly what my London VIP Days were designed for – to guide and support you onto a new, more fulfilling path (however that might look like for you).

The power of authentic expression

So… you might be wondering: did my second visit change my mind about Milan?

It certainly did.

I realised that authentic, thoughtful self-expression – whether through fashion or otherwise – is something we need more of in a world where conformity is the default mode. And the people who excel at this – like the Milanese – add a multidimensional aspect of artistic and aesthetic depth, not just to the city they belong to, but to everyone who visits, too.

Combined with the new layers of the city I uncovered through my slow, mindful explorations, I can confirm that there is definitely more to Milan that meets the eye.

And let’s not forget some of the super generous aperitivo places I was lucky to enjoy… Oh-em-gee – absolutely perfetto!

So yeah, Milan gets thumbs up from me. Its earthly pleasures, combined with captivating aesthetics in many forms, nourished all parts of my body, mind and soul.

And I would be more than happy to do it all over again.

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