Why most people’s lives suck – and how to make sure yours doesn’t

One of the most painful things for someone like me – who is awake, aware, can see and feel beyond what meets the eye, discards societal expectations, is a deep thinker and quickly spots people’s limitations – is to watch how most people sleepwalk through their lives.

How people are wasting the limited time they have been given on Earth by living according to someone else’s rulebook, accepting less than what they desire and deserve.

In other words – how most people live unconsciously, as opposed to living consciously and intentionally. 

You’ve been fed false narratives your entire life

Constantly seeing people sleepwalk literally makes me want to shake them: ‘Why are you accepting this?!’, ‘Why do you have so low standards for yourself, and your life?!’, ‘Wake up – there is so much more available to you!!’

Obviously, I don’t actually need them to tell me why – I already know. And ironically, they themselves probably don’t.

But the truth is simple. 

It’s because of the deeply ingrained narratives of the mainstream society that are designed to take people’s power away, keep them small, in fear and disconnected.

Why? You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see why: it is to control the masses. 

Think about it for a second. People who feel powerless and like victims to their circumstances and life, are not going to challenge or even question the status quo. By keeping them in fear and limitation, they can be easily controlled. And by watching the current global geopolitical landscape, we can see how this is being dialled up massively (but that’s a post for another time).

The fact is this: through our upbringing, education system, media and society at large, we have been fed so many limiting concepts and false narratives. And when repeated hundreds or thousands of times throughout our life, they turn into solid beliefs that these things are indeed true and ‘the reality’.

The ‘alleged’ path to happiness

For example, let’s take the very familiar ‘path to happiness’ that is promoted by our society: go to school -> get higher education (for better career opportunities) -> get a job -> get married -> buy a house -> have kids – > voilá – happiness. 

If you have ticked all of this off your list, let me ask you: how is this working for you? Are you happy? Like truly content, satisfied in all the ways, feeling deep inner peace? If the answer is ‘yes’, congrats, you have just won the jackpot. Like truly – I mean it.

For a lot of people though, I know the answer is ‘no’. Either because the entire equation doesn’t actually resonate with them (hi, that’s me), or because they have settled when it comes to parts of it – a soul-sucking job, a romantic relationship where their needs are actually not being met, a house in the suburbs where they deep down have no desire to live, and so on.

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with having or wanting the things above. The problem is when we blindly follow what has been presented to us like ‘the only option’. Or we accept less than what we desire in any area of our life… because we somehow believe that ‘better’ is not available to us.

Your reality is your choice

Now – I can already hear the critics say: ‘But that is just the reality of life – you cannot have it all’. 

Thank you very much for bringing that up. Because that is yet another lie you have been conditioned into believing. And guess what – as Henry Ford famously said: ‘Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right’.

So yes, if you believe that you are powerless, your life outcomes are dictated by your circumstances, politicians or other people, and you have to settle in any or all areas of your life, then guess what – that will be your reality. 

If you, on the other hand, believe that you have the power to design your own reality and your own life, then that’s exactly what you will do.

Essentially, we are talking about 2 opposing concepts here – and sadly, most people fall into the last category, in the ‘unconscious living’ bucket.

Getting clear on what you truly desire

Let me ask you this – have you ever actually stopped and asked yourself: ‘What do I want’?

When you imagine life as an endless smörgasbord of possibilities, opportunities, choices and outcomes where you can have absolutely anything you want – do you know what you TRULY want? 

Let’s for a second remove any limiting thoughts that might pop into your heard, like:  ‘I don’t have x’, ‘I can’t do x’, ‘I’m not x’, ‘This is not possible for me’, and all the other dumb cr*p our mind feeds us, day in and day out.

Close your eyes for a second, take 3 deep breaths, ground yourself and try to feel present in your body, getting out of your head as much as possible. Start imagining all of the things you love in life and that make you feel good, joyful, happy. Tap into your dreams – small and big. Don’t limit yourself in any way. 

And rather than trying to THINK your way to your desires, FEEL into them. As women, we are not thinking and rational beings first and foremost (men are), we are intuitive and feeling beings (if we are truly in touch with our feminine nature, that is). 

So when you are envisioning the things your heart is calling you to, try to feel into what feels truly nourishing, delicious and ALIVE in your BODY.

When you can have absolutely anything – what is it that you genuinely, truly, deeply desire?

Your heart’s desires vs. what you’ve been told to want

And this doesn’t have to be an achievement or even a physical, tangible thing, like a dream house, a dream job, a dream vacation – although if you want any those things, that’s perfectly fine too.

But it could also be something simpler, like: ‘I want to feel alive every single day’, ‘I want to bring more fun into my weeks, not just weekends’, ‘I want to spend more meaningful time with my kids’, ‘I want to start practicing this new hobby and get really good at it’… 

When you are doing this, also notice – are these desires truly YOURS, or are they someone else’s? Are these things you have been ‘taught’ to want? Or are you perhaps wanting something for entirely wrong reasons – to prove your mum wrong, to make your dad happy, to gain external validation and recognition, etc.? Get really honest with yourself.

It’s only when we are tapped into the TRUE DESIRES OF OUR SOUL that life starts to guide us effortlessly. Any unaligned desires we decide to pursue can be made manifest through hard work and force, sure, but usually end up in burnout and emptiness when we finally achieve them. And this is certainly not what we are here for.

What it means to live consciously

And so… it goes without saying that to know where we are going, we need a clear DESTINATION. We can’t just start walking, without any idea of the direction we are headed to – because that would simply lead us to the middle of nowhere.

Which is why it is so important – in order to live an amazing life – to first get really clear what you want. Once you know what you want, it will then act as your guiding light (the lighthouse of your destination, if you will). It will guide you in all of your choices, decisions and actions – big and small. 

And this right here is what conscious living is all about. The word ‘conscious’ simply means ‘being awake to what’s happening’. It’s about INTENTIONALITY and being purposeful in every aspect of your life. It’s about actively choosing your path in life, not just accepting what life puts in front of you. 

Sadly, I see people around me do the latter all the time – with their professional paths, their romantic relationships, the standards they accept in any area of their lives. Which is why most people’s lives suck, in some shape or form. 

And then they end up complaining about all of the things they don’t like about their lives… yet do nothing about any of it. Instead, they keep wallowing in their victim mentality, looking for sympathy, rather than ways to bring about change.

I know this isn’t you, though, otherwise you wouldn’t be here reading this blog 🙂

The trap of letting familiarity trump soul’s desires

And what’s even worse – a lot of people don’t even admit that they are dissatisfied with some aspects of their life. Because admitting that would mean they’d have to do something about it. And if you know you need to change something, but you don’t actually do anything about it… well, that’s even worse. It’s like outing yourself as a stupid AND lazy person, so not something anyone would voluntarily do.

I’ve had people I know moan to me about a certain aspect of their life. Then when I bring it up and suggest alternative pathways, they tell me (after first convincing themselves) that they are actually not so dissatisfied with it after all. Um okay, girl, you do you, but also – I can see right through the self-deception. I know it’s simply fear disguised as ‘I’m actually okay’, when clearly they are not.

And that’s because change is uncomfortable for most people. So they (falsely) believe that it’s better to stay in the comfort zone – which is actually more like a familiarity zone. Because there is nothing comfortable about living a ‘meh’ life or settling for crumbs in any area of your life.

Yet people do it because it feels familiar, and the unknown feels scary and uncertain. And we are (or more specifically, our brain is) hardwired to seek familiarity, thinking familiarity equals safety. When in fact – it’s eating our soul from the inside. Comfortable? Definitely not in MY books.

What you desire, is within reach

I want to leave you with this.

You, my friend, have FREE WILL. Please never forget that. You can design your life in whichever way you want, you don’t just have to blindly follow the blueprint that was handed to you. 

Please, please… Wake up, and for god’s sake, start TRULY living! This brief time we have given to have the human experience can be SO MAGICAL if we actively choose it to be. And it breaks my heart to see people floating through life like dead fish in a river – because no-one has showed them another way.

And the ‘perceived obstacles’ on your way? Most are created by your mind, to keep you safe (which is its job, but also massively hinders your growth). With the right tools and support, absolutely everything can be overcome. 

And PS – if you want a helping hand, my VIP Days in London (or anywhere else in Europe) were designed for exactly that. To help clarify your soul’s desires, sketch out a roadmap to achieve them, and for me to reflect your innate power and magic back to you, so you are equipped to choose a new and more alive path for yourself. Imagine – you and me, a whole day dedicated to YOU and your dreams… in the most delightful of settings imaginable. Learn more here

So… which is it going to be, my friend? Still keep sleepwalking through life, or wake up, set the intentions and start living a conscious, soul-led life, while you still have time left on planet Earth?

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