I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions – here’s what I do instead

Ahh, the end of another year. The time when most people finally take a breather from spending 12 months running around, assessing the year that has been, and realising they want the next one to be better – in whichever ways the current one left them feeling dissatisfied.

And so, to rectify anything that didn’t go according to plan or didn’t turn out the way they hoped, they course-correct with new year’s resolutions. A fresh set of intentions, goals, promises to themselves, all in the hope that this year will be different.

Sounds familiar? Yep, me too. It used to be my course of action for many years. 

And I’m guessing you’d agree that the typical fulfilment rate of those resolutions is… not great. Five per cent – if that. It certainly was for me.

If that’s you, too, this blog post offers a different perspective – one that I hope you’ll find supportive on your quest towards a fulfilling life. This is how I have chosen to approach mine, and it feels deeply nourishing to live this way.

New year’s resolutions are working against you in more ways than you realise

But first of all, let me start by saying this: you are NOT a failure because you struggle to follow through on your resolutions or hit your goals.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a driven, self-motivated woman. Ambitious. A go-getter. Someone who has her sh*t together.

So why does this one area feel so hard?

The reason is simple – and no, it’s not because you are somehow undisciplined or incapable.

It’s because the entire concept of new year’s resolutions is flawed. It’s rooted in a way of approaching life that often works against how we actually change, grow, and evolve.

Here’s why:

1 — Trying to change the behaviour, without changing identity

Most resolutions are about doing (‘I’ll work out more’, ‘I’ll be more productive’, ‘I’ll make more money’) while the underlying self-concept stays the same. But behaviour is a symptom of your current identity. If your identity, nervous system, beliefs, and energetic baseline don’t shift, the old patterns will eventually reassert themselves. Willpower can only carry you so far – usually until February, lol. 

Upgrading your identity is typically a much longer and deeper process, and not something you can flip a switch on December 31st.

2 — Resolutions are often rooted in self-judgment, rather than soul truth

A lot of goals are basically about ‘what’s wrong with me and how do I fix it.’ Eat less. Make more effort. Be more x. Be better with y. 

When change is driven by comparison, shame or a sense of lack, it creates internal resistance. And as a result, a part of you doesn’t actually want the goal – it just wants relief from feeling ‘not enough’.

3 — Timing is arbitrary, not based on internal guidance

There is nothing about January 1st that is designed to energetically support you.

People force decisions because the calendar says so and because this is what ‘everyone is doing and has been doing’ – not because there’s genuine clarity, readiness, or inner momentum. So they’re swimming upstream from day one.

In contrast, change that emerges organically is far more likely to lead to lasting outcomes.

4 — Linear goal-setting ignores the body and the nervous system

Traditional goal setting is rooted in masculine energy principles (you can read more about feminine and masculine energy in this blog post – opens in a new tab) and assumes we operate like machines: decide → execute → succeed. 

But humans, and us women in particular, are cyclical, emotional, somatic beings. If the nervous system doesn’t feel safe, resourced, and regulated, consistency doesn’t stand a chance. 

This is why people ‘fall off’ their goals – not because they don’t care, but because their system is overwhelmed.

5 — Lack of specificity and detail

Big, abstract goals don’t translate into moment-to-moment choices. People set resolutions once a year, then return to autopilot the other 364 days.

Lasting change happens in micro-decisions and through small daily and weekly action steps, not through lofty annual declarations.

6 — Assuming our desires stay constant

When setting goals 3, 6 or 9 months ahead, people assume they want the same things then as they do in the present moment. 

But the truth is, we are constantly changing (at least those of us with a growth-oriented approach to life). New information and life’s twists and turns can set us on a very different path just one or two months into the new year, leading to entirely different desires and goals.

A 12-month timeline is also unrealistic – maintaining the same level of momentum consistently for an entire year is a challenge even for highly motivated people.

As you can see, the new year’s resolutions model fails us in so many ways. It focuses on arbitrary timing, bypasses alignment, ignores embodiment, and asks for change without truth. No wonder we are all doomed to fail.

Yet very few people stop to question whether this way of doing things actually serves them. Instead, they follow mainstream narratives and then beat themselves up when they fail a system that is literally designed to fail them.

See how twisted that is?

Which is why I no longer subscribe to any of this nonsense, and have adopted a very different philosophy.

Time is an illusion

First of all, it’s important to understand that time is a human-made construct. 

The fact that the year ends on December 31st and a new year starts on January 1st is completely arbitrary. Nothing changes between those days – not cosmically, not energetically, not on the physical plane.

The Gregorian calendar that we use in the Western world was introduced in 1582 by Pope Gregory XIII to correct inaccuracies in the Julian calendar and to better align dates with the solar year. It’s a symbolic system and a practical tool, designed for convenience and social coordination – not something the Universe itself cares about. 

Taking it even further – from a quantum perspective, time as we experience it doesn’t actually exist at all. In the quantum field, all moments exist simultaneously, and reality can shift at any point. There’s no cosmic rule that says change must wait for January 1st. 

So while the end of the year can feel symbolic – and I can see how the pause between the holidays is, for many, the only time in the year to create enough spaciousness to evaluate the course of their life – the truth is that fresh starts, clarity, and aligned action are available to us at any moment, not just because a date on a calendar tells us so. 

And that’s exactly how I choose to live.

Following the breadcrumbs

So here’s my approach: I let my big desires guide me every single day throughout the year, and I make decisions and take action on a moment-to-moment basis, based on the most relevant information I have at any given moment. 

In everything I do, alignment is my guiding light – my North Star. I constantly ask myself: ‘What feels most true… right now’? Rather than trying to force things into action, I let things unfold organically. 

(Side note: what I’m describing here applies to bigger desires and more complex life shifts. If you simply want to eat healthier or start exercising, willpower based execution really is the only answer – stating the obvious here, lol.)

So what does this actually look like in practice, you might ask.

It looks like ‘following the breadcrumbs of the Universe’ – one small piece of guidance at a time. 

In other words:

• First, you set your intention – a desire that calls you from the depths of your soul. 
• Then, you sit back and wait for ‘further instructions’ from life / the Universe.
• Finally, you take action when those instructions arrive.

Those ‘further instructions’ might come as intuitive nudges – an idea dropping in, a pull to take a specific action (for example – call someone, read a book, visit a place) – or an opportunity presenting itself that moves you closer to your desire. 

When you follow these breadcrumbs day by day, you are constantly moving closer to your goal – no matter what date the calendar shows. 

And you no longer need to force unsustainable action that feels like an uphill battle just because you woke up on December 27th and realised another year has passed without achieving the change you’d been desiring.

>>>>> An important note here:

Living this way does NOT mean you’ll get everything you want, or on the timeline you had in mind. In fact, sometimes life takes you on detours you never would have chosen consciously. 

But in my experience, those detours often carry the very wisdom, clarity, and realignment that make the next chapter possible. This way of living asks you to trade control for trust – and for me, it has been infinitely more fulfilling than chasing outcomes on a schedule.

Allowing our feminine energy to guide us

This approach can seem passive or even counterintuitive to an ambitious go-getter. And I get it – a few years ago, I probably would have thought the same.

But that’s because our society is built on a predominantly masculine energy approach. It’s so deeply ingrained in the collective that very few people notice it, or question the status quo.

But if you feel drained and exhausted by the constant push, chase and pressure of modern life, your body has already clocked the disconnect. The only question is: are you going to listen?

Because as feminine energy beings, we are not here to force things into existence. We are here to RESPOND – to life / to the Universe – and to CO-CREATE. 

And this… is where the magic happens. 

Because guess what? 

When you take your hands off the steering wheel, you allow life to surprise you. You create mental spaciousness to play and be creative. You gain the freedom to course-correct based on what feels true in your heart, body and soul in any given moment.

Compare that to having blinders on while forcing a desire into existence through sheer willpower, hustle, and relentless determination over long periods of time.

Which one feels more nourishing?

Trusting the nudges of the soul

For me, the answer is clear. I choose alignment over pressure. Guided action over force.

This is how I have been living my life for the past few years. It has taken me down some interesting and unexpected paths – which I’ll share more about in future posts. But first and foremost, this approach has felt like a complete honouring of my soul.

So… how about you, my friend? Will 2026 be the year you ditch the new year’s resolutions and try a different way? 

If so, let me know in the comments – I’d love to cheer you on along the way 💛

And PS – if you want support with figuring out what your next step in life should be, or how to make the next year your best one yet, my VIP Days in London (or anywhere else in Europe) were designed for exactly that.

To help clarify your soul’s desires, sketch out a roadmap to achieve them, and for me to reflect your innate power and magic back to you, so you are equipped to choose a new and more truthful path for yourself – without letting fear and doubt hold you back. Imagine: you and me, a whole day dedicated to YOU and your dreams… in the most delightful of settings imaginable. Learn more here

—-

YOU MIGHT ALSO BE INTERESTED IN:

>> Feminine vs. masculine energy – the insights that changed my life

>> Why most people’s lives suck – and how to make sure yours doesn’t

>> The secret saboteur running all aspects of your life

>> How Human Design opened my eyes to soul-aligned living (as a Projector)