Sensitivity: not a weakness, but a superpower

Picture this: you are sitting in a bustling cafe, on your own. You have just ordered your breakfast, and while you are waiting for your food to arrive, you open your phone and start scrolling.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, your eyes start filling with tears and before you know it, they are streaming down your face. As you fumble to find a tissue, or try to discreetly wipe your face with your hands, you get looks from other tables. The person next to you ask you if you are okay.

And you just want to sink into the earth.

Because what unleashed the tears, was not an incoming personal message with some sad news… but an Instagram post of a sweet dog meeting her forever-parents for the first time after living in a shelter for 2 years.

Welcome to the life of… a highly sensitive person.

To a world where tears sit loose, and can be unleashed anytime, anywhere. 

Sometimes as a response to something beautiful and joyful, and sometimes to something heart-breaking and sad. But never asking for permission, and never taking into account whether it’s ‘socially acceptable’.
Because when the soul wants to feel, it will feel. No matter what.

Navigating the world as an empath and an aesthete

I’ve been an empath my entire life. For the first 20-30 years that meant strong people pleasing tendencies, until I started doing the inner work and gradually dug myself out of the need to source my worth from being liked.

Being an empath also means that, as illustrated above, I can simply be reading about someone else’s story… and then be moved to tears. I resonate with other people’s pain and joy, and I feel it deeply.

In fact, I cry often. But (perhaps) weirdly, more often of happiness and beauty than sadness or despair.

I have an extremely strong aesthetic sense. I experience beauty on a visceral level. I’m so often moved to tears by the beauty of my surroundings, music, art, or how happy I feel inside.

Beautiful environments light me up, inspire me, and bring a sense of safety and calm. They make me feel alive and somehow… complete. ⁣ 

And conversely, ‘ugly’, dirty, cluttered environments, things that are out of balance and look distasteful, massively deplete my energy. Sometimes they fill me with disgust on a visceral level. 

Oh and loud, unexpected noises? Gosh. A screaming kiddo in a shop, a jackhammer outside my café seat, or someone watching TikTok videos on public transport without headphones (my absolute worst pet peeve!) make me want to crawl into a soundproof bubble (thank God for noise-canceling AirPods because without these I’d probably have a mental disorder of some sort by now).

I often wonder – how come other people seem to be so unbothered by these things? 

While all of the above might seem insignificant and superficial to some, for me it is part of my DNA. And trust me, I wish I could change it – because it would make moving through the world a lot easier. But I can’t. 

And it’s only in the last few years that I’ve come to realise that not only does my sensitivity make me beautifully unique and deeply soulful… it also makes my life so much more flavorsome.

Societal conditioning runs deep

But before arriving at this conclusion, I’ve had to shed a lot of societal programming.

You see, for most of my life I perceived sensitivity as a weakness. As being overly precious, too emotional, too deep-feeling, too easily affected by the external, and so on.

No wonder why. Because that’s how sensitivity is perceived in our society – as a flaw, rather than a gift.

From a young age, most of us are subtly – and not so subtly – taught that sensitivity equals weakness. If you cried too easily as a child, you might’ve heard: ‘Don’t be so dramatic.’ ‘Stop crying.’ ‘Toughen up.’

And even in adulthood, it continues. If you get overwhelmed by loud noises, crowds, or chaotic environments: ‘You’re too sensitive.’ ‘Just get over it.’

In a world that is fixated on productivity, grit, and unshakable positivity, there’s little room for tenderness, nuance, or deep emotional awareness.

We’re taught to value logic over intuition, toughness over vulnerability, and constant doing over intentional BEING.So what happens? Us sensitive souls learn to armor up and ignore acknowledging the way things around us affect us.

We pretend things don’t bother us. We minimise our feelings. We push ourselves to keep up with environments, jobs, and relationships that quietly exhaust us. We brush things aside and take pride in our ability to power through.

Revealing my self-deception

This used to be me.

I used to be the cool girl. I used to wear my ‘unbotheredness’ and unwavering positivity as a badge of honour. I used to take pride in how little things affected me. 

But I have since realised that not only was that absolutely not true… but it was a protection mechanism. A way to keep my heart closed and not feeling so much, so I could keep focusing on all the DOING.

Because in a deeply masculine society that we live in, displaying feminine traits is looked down upon. And so of course, I didn’t want to come across as weak, because I, after all, was in control of my life and myself, steering that ship with a steady hand – no weakness in sight.

What I have come to uncover, though, is that I wasn’t really being honest with myself. The external always made me feel a lot more than I admitted to myself.

Critical comment at work? Awkward moment with a friend? Rejected on a dating app? Any incidences like these would make me feel deeply uncomfortable inside and I would ruminate for hours, playing out the dialog in my head over and over again, trying to analyse it to pieces. And ironically, the more I thought about it, the more pain I would keep inflict myself. But it was so hard to let it go. So yeah. Me – unbothered? Hardly.

Being a textbook example of a highly sensitive person

One day, after yet another episode of unexpected tears when scrolling social media, I hopped on Google and asked whether it is normal to feel this way. To my surprise, I found out that being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) was actually a thing, backed by science (and not just my overactive tear ducts).

Turns out that HSP as a term was coined by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron in the 1990s to describe people whose nervous systems are wired to process physical, emotional, and social stimuli more deeply than the average person.

However, this isn’t a diagnosis or a ‘problem’. It’s simply a personality trait present in about 15–20% of us.

Highly sensitive people notice details others miss, sense shifts in energy, and feel emotions on a richer, more nuanced spectrum. While this means incredible empathy and insight, it also means we’re more easily overwhelmed by chaos or intensity.

If you’ve been nodding along so far, here are some classic signs that you might be a highly sensitive person, just like me. You don’t have to check every box, but here are some hallmark signs:

• You cry easily – whether moved by art, music, nature, or sadness.
  
• You are easily affected by other people’s moods or energy.
  
• You need plenty of downtime or solitude after busy days or a lot of socialising.
  
• Sudden noises and bright lights are annoying or even painful.
  
• You notice textures, smells, sounds, and details others miss.
  
• Your emotions swing strong – from joy to sorrow.
  
• You are prone to overthinking or ruminating on conflicts and awkward moments.
  
• You dislikes violence, cruelty, or aggressive environments.
  
• You feel drained by cluttered, ugly, or disharmonious spaces.

Sound familiar? Yep girlfriend, same here… same here. With the exception of one, all of these apply to me.

And that makes you and me, a special kind of individuals.

The difference between sensitivity and inner wounding

Now, here’s an important distinction to be made. 

Being highly sensitive is NOT the same as being shy, anxious, or introverted – though those traits can overlap. It’s a temperament trait, a natural part of your nervous system wiring that affects how you experience and process the world.

But here’s where it gets murky for us sensitive souls.

There’s a big difference between having a beautifully attuned, sensitive nervous system… and carrying around unhealed emotional wounds that make you overreact to other people’s moods, opinions, or behaviors.

Sensitivity means you’re empathetic and notice the little things. The flicker of hurt in a friend’s eye. The tension in a room. The way music can stir your soul. That’s sensitivity. That’s our gift.

But some of what can show up disguised as sensitivity, is in fact inner wounding that needs to be healed. These are:

• Taking things personally.
  
  Not every mood shift, sharp comment, or weird vibe is about you. When you take it personally, you’re interpreting someone else’s behavior through the lens of your own insecurities.

Sensitivity says: ‘Hmm, they seem off today. Wonder what’s going on with them.’
Wounding says: ‘What did I do wrong? Are they upset with me? Did I mess up? Do they not like me?’

The noticing is your sensitivity. The assumption is the wound.

• People-pleasing.
  
  Another common misconception is that people-pleasing is a natural byproduct of being sensitive. Nope. People-pleasing is a survival strategy.

When you’re so tuned into others’ feelings, it can feel incredibly uncomfortable when someone’s upset, disapproving, or unhappy. So you adjust yourself, make yourself smaller, more agreeable – anything to avoid conflict.

But here’s the thing: your sensitivity isn’t what’s making you do that. Your unhealed wounds are.

Sensitivity says: ‘I can sense they’re upset.’
Wounding says: ‘I need to fix it so I stay safe, worthy, and approved of.’

See the difference?

The good news is that his can be healed.

You don’t have to turn down your sensitivity to feel safe in the world. You just need to untangle your beautiful awareness from any inner wounding you’ve attached to it.And as you build your self-worth from the inside out – independent of how others feel, act, or react – you get to keep the magic of your sensitivity without carrying the exhausting weight of over-personalising or over-giving.

Sensitivity as a superpower

Because this is the thing. Contrary to what the society portrays, being sensitivity is, in fact, a superpower.

Our ability to feel deeply means we connect with others on a soul level. Our finely tuned senses allow us to create environments and experiences that touch hearts.

We notice the little shifts in energy, making us intuitive friends, leaders, and creators.

And while we might feel discomfort more intensely (and that can at times feel really heavy), we also experience beauty, joy, and love more profoundly than most. Because you can’t have one without the other. When you feel deeply, you feel ALL of it.  

And THAT, my friend, is the magic.

In a world that often feels harsh and rushed, our sensitivity is a beacon of light, reminding everyone around us of the richness that comes from feeling fully alive.

It is my hope that as we collectively wake up to the fact that endless hustle and numbing ourselves isn’t sustainable, sensitivity will finally be getting the recognition it deserves – not as a flaw to fix, but as an asset to honour.

As we’re moving into a time where old structures and constructs will eventually start to crumble, heart-led, emotionally intelligent, beautifully sensitive people are exactly what the world needs.

So next time someone tells you to ‘toughen up’, smile, knowing you’re carrying a quiet power that instead, deserves celebrating. And allow yourself to feel every single bit of that feeling.